When I was growing up, I saw that bullying was one of the major things that lead to dysfunction in my community…and while I was too young to realize it then, both the people doing the bullying and the people experiencing the bullying were products of their own respective environments. Bullying is deemed a learned behavior, and if you can “learn bullying”, then naturally, you can also “unlearn” it…there are various influences that cause people to emulate others, both in positive and negative ways, and it is a domino effect, because if bullying starts at home, for example, it then spreads to schools, and affects other people, so on and so forth…so where is this story going?
As an adult, looking back now, I think of community service and how it helps to unify people from different walks of life. It’s one of the most POSITIVE things anyone can do, especially if we as people want to aim to influence more people from making negative personal choices, such as, with things like bullying or violence. Why is this? Community service fosters empathy, broadens perspectives, and helps to boost a sense of civic responsibility for our peers. I’m reminded of a mother who brought her two daughters to a meetup event and told me how happy she was that she found an event that welcomed children, because she wants to get her children to see the importance of doing something for others to help them see the good, while also getting them out into the world.
When we make choices regarding others, would we make that same choice for ourselves, honestly?
Contrary to what some may think, community service isn’t just something that kids should do and it isn’t something that adults can’t learn from. Actually, people both young and old can gain a lot of good from community service, and it isn’t something that should be a “one and done”. I would argue that people should stick to community service for life — not every single day, mind you, but it should be routine. Like self-improvement, we grow and learn our entire lives, and through community service, we improve and grow as well. Community service helps reduce stereotyping, misconceptions, and also leads us to making more informed and impactful decisions…
For example, I have been told by numerous people that Newport News, in the state of Virginia, is “bad”, and I have to “be careful”. Having engaged numerous people all over the world, and being nearly 40 years old now, I firmly understand that bad is everywhere, if you are solely looking for that. The opposite is also true, and I drive by the wonderful people of Christopher Newport University, or see the water and such of The Mariners’ Park, or help raise money for children at the Newsome House Museum & Cultural Center…essentially, I could be in danger at any random store I am at, even if it is deemed the “safest neighborhood in the world”. Is there more danger in some areas than others? Sure. However, I personally choose to work to build unity where I go to be part of the solution, rather than generalize and contribute nothing. It took learning and growth on my behalf to reach this point, so I have to give myself credit!
When we choose to reduce people to the worst things we can think of, we find more of the worst things and go with confirmation bias, because we are actively looking for those things and tend to disregard or trivialize that which doesn’t fit the bias. However, doing that is a CHOICE. Not doing that is ALSO a CHOICE…and when we go out there and talk to people, especially in areas one has deemed “bad”, only to find that good people are living there, and they have some heartwarming stories, even some from dark times…I don’t know about you, but that made me think, especially as I listened to more stories from people. I also learned that those same people are joining to do something positive, even if they are poor/have little. Remember…you have choices to make that can make things better or worse in the world, even if your choices only affect a small part of “your world”!